Monday, June 28, 2010


I have had romance on my mind for a couple of days now. My current love interest is coming up later this week to MEET. THE. FAM. (mtf) In a previous post, I had mentioned the early MTF on his side back when I was at school still, and yes, a month later, a backpacking trip to Europe, rocky relations with exes, new jobs, and haphazard communication... I'm sitting here with little baby butterflies fluttering in my stomach all over again. Honestly, I'm excited to see if the sparks that once were so surprising, fun, and easy are still there. Oh and he's just super handsome, in my opinion, so there's a little added ulterior motives present as well...

I feel as though that in this day and age, meeting the parents of a significant other really is a big deal. For myself and many of my fellow twenty-something females, in general we want the man we bring home to be genuinely liked. Society/ Mom and Dad's constant insistence on my independence, self-worth, and limitless happiness have forced a pretty high standard in my "book" (okay novel), and I'm pretty okay with that. I mean, why the hell not? I've spent the last 21/22 years trying to perfect myself, I'd hope I take enough pride in it and enjoy some decent, honest, fun, and loving attention out of someone. I think this guy has the potential at the moment.

The reality is, though, is that I was never afraid to meet HIS family. In fact, his mother reached across the dinner table at his celebratory graduation dinner and basically blessed my soul (this is while Nanna kept chattering on about God only knows WHAT right next to me). His incredibly hot 25 year old brother sat across from me-- a clear distraction, and the rehab/crazy history I know about his 27 year old plastic-surgery filled blonde bombshell of a sister kind of distracted me as well. At least I didn't feel as awkward as his Dad's new wife (and third, I learned later) probably did... but who am I to say. The few glances he and I stole were those of sympathy (maybe his more of pleading help in the clenched grip of his grandma's hand on his chin half of the night).

But needless to say, I feel like my relatively normal family will be more Switzerland for him. and He'll be fine.


I knew this would be hard, this whole writing religiously every day thing. Even keeping to a schedule of the every other day thing seems like a lot.

It is certainly not for lack of things to say, mind you, because rest assured, there's plenty to gripe about, philosophies forming daily, and altogether great moments that weave themselves into weeks, months, and really before we all know it, years.

Yesterday I had a day off (my random week-to-week scheduling is less-than ideal!) and my family made a great outing in the North End of Boston. My mom's shoulder/back problem slowed us down, however I had to put into perspective my family has never been the go-get-'em outdoorsy Sear's Coleman Family (see photo).

But it was a fine pace nonetheless.

Naturally we indulged in great Italian cuisine. I ordered a thin-crust pizza with basil, tomato and prosciutto... once again reminding me of my months in Florence last fall. Surprise, prosciutto still makes me gag, but it was pretty good! Dinner was followed by some classic Mike's Pastry, with a GIANT whoopie pie. (pic i will upload when I'm not so lazy)

But it was good. No, it was great. Shared some laughs, good food, and mainly time. As I finished the night bawling to the touching Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants (gotta love that sensitive side!), and there is the insinuation of little 12-year old Bailey has passed away from Leukemia, that all we have is the little things.

"Being happy isn't having everything in your life be perfect. Maybe it's about stringing together all the little things like wearing these pants or getting to a new level of Dragon's Lair - making those count for more than the bad stuff. Maybe we just get through it... and that's all we can ask for. "

So, I will continue to write, if not to remember just this sentiment.

Lots of love!

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

...where has time gone?!

Sorry for the MAJOR delay in details. Life kinda got in the way, i.e. work, feeling pretty worn out, WORK. haha. Life is sooo glamorous here at home these days!

So, I suppose the summary to the previous post goes as follows (I am grimacing thinking back about it, but *sigh* what's done is done.

So after going back and forth on facebook, and then a casual phone convo, we agreed that Sunday was a night that we both could do something. Incedentally, this was my sister's graduation party, and in the back of my mind I sort of already knew it wouldn't happen. Thanks to my super dead/missing phone, I evaded Sunday's rendesvous all together.

After making contact once again (I couldn't straight up ignore the fbook message AND text asking what happened to me), we rescheduled (me more begrudgingly this time) for Tuesday. As the day neared, Dan sent a few texts telling me how he was looking forward to it, confirming with me time and place (a nice Japanese restaurant in town), and re-confirming... But at work all day Tuesday, I couldn't help but feel awful inside. I knew his intentions were wayyy more casual than mine. After venting to a male co-worker, I realized that I wasn't doing him any favors and I had to bring up the fact that I was indeed seeing someone. But I left work more than regretting that I had made the plan to begin with.

So, the next part is a big blur, but here goes:

I call my mom telling her my dinner plans. Needless to say, she was really surprised I was going through with it. She said "Kate, why would you put him through that if you already know his intentions? And don't you already HAVE a boyfriend? Don't you think it's a little unfair...." blah blah blah... The thing is, she was right. I had totally lead him on, believing that I was really interested, and that dinner could lead to something more (I learned later this was his thought)

And here it is. I had to call and cancel. Yes, it was one hour before I was supposed to meet him (oh, I had already discouraged him from picking me up from my house), and yes, it was LAST minute. But, I had to cancel. Why torture the poor guy even more? Plus, I really was not interested "like that". While I am comfortable casually, I should have put up more barriers and made different plans that weren't so date-like. Basically, I screwed up. And I had to put it to a stop.

The conversation... was awful. I at first apologized for it being so last minute, but that "I'm so sorry but I have to cancel dinner tonight." I explained that I was in a long-distance relationship and I just didn't feel right going through with dinner, and that I had the impression that he saw this more as a date, and at that, I didn't feel right. But mostly, I blabbered on and on, even fake cried a little for effect, just hoping that he'd say "Okay" and hang up.

Wellll.... I would have been okay with any response than what he gave. He started by saying that it was terrible what I was doing to him, that he didn't understand how I could be in a satisfying relationship long-distance.

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Another one bites the dust?

Sometimes I wonder to myself if being even remotely outgoing to guys is really even worth it. Or maybe I lack healthy judgment skills!

(likely possibility… I’ve had one or two train wreck experiences with guys)

Either way, I mentioned in yesterday’s post we were at my sister’s film festival. One of the judges was a fellow 2006 graduate of my high school. Let’s call him Dan. Dan recently graduated from college having pursued film-making. Coincidentally, he went to my father’s Alma Mater.

I’ll have to admit, I obviously was not expecting to see him ever again after high school… especially on a night I was more or less dragged out of the house after a long day of work, raccoon-eyed, in PINK Lands-End clogs, dress slacks, and limp hair desperately needing a good shampoo (ew). Dan, on the other hand, had been certainly well-spoken, had a carefully crafted coif (something worthy to note, for sure), and sharply dressed in a blazer and (skinny?) jeans. Far more polished and mature that I remember him being – probably was a skater-ish hippie, but I can’t say for sure anymore.

Needless to say, my MOM jumped at the chance to say hello to him after the show. After awkwardly talking (blah blah blah as I remember) with Dan and my Dad/Mom, we all (awkwardly) walked out together.

We briefly talked about our plans for the summer.
HIM? “film-making”.
ME? “Nothing”. I struggled to spit out an awkward “It always catches me off-guard when I run into people now after these four years…”
Dan: “Yeah it’s true, but then I remind myself that I’m the one that’s changed.” (awfully philosophical, even for me)
Me: I say over my shoulder I walk away “Well, it’s for the better!” (Ugh, that was one of those comments when you turn away from the person and mouth “WHAT?!?”)

So obviously when I get into the car, immediately my mom is jumping ALL over me about him being my new boyfriend and how he’s perfect. Kill. Me. Now. But I thought what the heck, and friended him on facebook, even including a message (I know, balsy right?HA). Just short and sweet, “wow, I didn’t think there was any way I wasn’t fbook friends with all of L-S. Since you’re working in the same area as me, maybe we’ll run into each other some time.” I threw in my phone number, mainly because my mom said that I should have when he asked what my plans were this summer…

FFWD a few hours, at like 1 am I wake up from a dead sleep to a four page text (on my old school flip phone, obvs)

“Like a truly outstanding wine, sometimes wonderful things take a little while to come to fruition… Kate, I can’t tell you how thrilled I was to see you tonight. From the moment your eyes caught mine I knew I couldn’t wait to get to know you. In fact, I went right from the ceremony to see a movie with some family and couldn’t wait to get out and send you a note. And here I am freshly in the car reading a note from you! (me: OH GOD, now look what I’ve done) As it’s almost 1, I’ll have to wait til tomorrow to call you but I will call you tomorrow. And I really am looking forward to talking with you. In case you need or want it, my e-mail is ________. Pleasant dreams, Dan

to be continued…?

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

a letter (ok e-mail) to long-distance love

Dear Stranger,

hey haven't heard from you in a couple days... are you alive?

I have the day off tomorrow, I think you should try and call! I'm assuming you're in Prague? I hear it's reeeealllly fucking cool. I'd love to see some pictures, although, it would get me very jealous and make me want to pack my bags all over again... when is the nomadic life over?!?!?

Tonight we went to my sister's HS film festival. Hers won first place - it was a hit. It was about a golfball. Maybe I'll have some real Hollywood in my life someday? I know the bum at the Starbucks thinks you are a Hollywood starlet, but Kelly's got a real shot, haha sorry babe.

These days, I wake up every morning wishing I were waking up to you, likely shirtless, playing some Jack Johnson on your guitar. Even though I kinda hate JJ, you make it sound so much sweeter. Instead, I've been even beating the early alarm, most often forgoing snooze

(because I think it is perhaps the most torturous thing on earthhh)

Did you know he's got a new album out? It's called To the Sea. I think my favorite track is You and Your Heart. Right now he's touring in Germany, coming to the states this summer (wink). If you see him around Europe, tell him I said hello, I think you're great mr. johnson, but that I think you're better. And you're cuter. Definitely.

I feel like I'm writing to a dead person because we've barely talked in person haha.
I guess just know I'm thinking of you :)

ok. til later...

oh and ps. my blog is up and running... albeit i have practically no followers, but who cares. Want to know the title? la dolce vita
( for the most part it's very much true, but having you here would be that much sweeter <3 )

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

What money can't buy

Most of my friends and family can attest to my overly emotional side. It seems that especially as of late, I have the tendency to cry at almost any sad/happy movie, event, story, commercial... everything.
View from the auditorium... of the screen
For example, just the other day, my sister graduated high school. It was a dreary day, albeit early June, and the unfortunate weather forecast suggested downpour all afternoon- GO FIGURE. Each graduate was limited to only THREE tickets to sit in the gymnasium... So, being one of five, and the oldest, I got shafted to the simulcasted auditorium. But, alas, this wasn't MY day, it was Kelly's and she deserved her caring and supportive family there... somewhere.

And we lost audio 1/2 way through

After begrudingly agreeing to go (and dragging my eleven year old sister, Brenna, with me), we watched the overall upbeat artistic interludes and lofty - aka naiive - ambitions of the student speakers (I'll confess, I was one of them too!), and the superintendent's commencement address took on a more serious tone.

There were two lives lost during the senior class' four years, including one student who passed of a swift battle of Leukemia. reminding us (in lieu of all the family members invited that could not physically be in the room due to the weather) that there were graduates without parents here, just as there was one family without a graduate.

The superintendent invited the boy's family to speak, and I knew immediately upon seeing their faces, I'd lose it. The genuine words of the boy's father, a handsome man, were eloquent and softly delivered. He thanked his son's friends for all of the love and attention they gave his son during his quick battle. He reminded them- and all of us- to live every minute more fully, that life is too short not to. And to continue to love and remember.

And tonight, on a popular Boston sports blog (of all places!), intended entirely for pure amusement and comic relief, the blogger posted this video. If you don't cry, you don't have a soul.

So, mie amiches~ what feeds yours? What are the things that money can't ever buy for you?

Friday, June 4, 2010

Hmm I like!

Before I could even get my foot into traditional and ever-so globally conscious TOM's Shoes, I stumbled across these!


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